Why Did God Create Us to Need Each Other? | 10@9 | 2026.10.08

Good morning. Today is Thursday, October 8th, 2026. We begin Beraeus. The Shabbos we read the Torah from the beginning. We study the Torah from the beginning. And let's start with a very basic question. Why are we here? What's the main reason of God created the world and us in it? If God is perfect, which we assume as one of our fundamental beliefs, that means that God is not lacking anything. So why did God feel a need to create a world and us if there was nothing lacking in what God had before? So let's start to answer that by asking another question about what we will read this Shabbos, the parasha of Beraeus. And the answer to this question will help us answer the first question. The Torah tells us before God created Chava, Eve, God says after creating Adam, Lotov Heyos Ha'adam Levado. It is not good for a person to be alone. God created Adam, singular, one human being, male. It's not good. Eselo ezur konegdo. I will create a helpmate to be together with him. And this refers to Chava, Eve. So that once there is an azur konegdo, once there is a helpmate, then, according to Rashi, then together they will be able to have children and create new life. But why does God do it that way? God starts by creating a single individual. Why isn't that enough? In other words, why does it require two people to create, to be able to have a child? And why do they create a being, a baby, that is helpless, that requires ongoing effort and stress to raise? Wouldn't it be a better idea if God created individuals and each individual was independent? Each individual would be capable of doing everything they need to do for themselves, not requiring an azur konegdo, a helpmate. And including being able to have children and having children who, from their beginning, from their birth, are capable of taking care of themselves. Why is there so much helplessness and meshed in creation? Rabbi Chaim of Oludzin writes, The answer to this question is that this is the essence of a human being. We are not created for ourselves, but to do for others all that we are capable of doing for them. That's why we are created, not because God is lacking anything, but to enable us to be able to live for others. Rabbi Yisach Efran explains this, and he says, and I think all parents and grandparents if their memory is there will recognize this. Human beings come into the world, babies, newborns, as the most self-centered creatures in the world. Babies think about one thing and one thing only, and that is their own comfort. So whether they're hungry or they're dirty or they need to burp, whatever it is, they're only interested in themselves. When you care for a baby, you realize how much care they need, and you recognize that this baby has no conception that there is someone else in the world besides themselves, at the very beginning at least. That's what a baby is, the purpose of life. The reason that God created this world and us, the reason we are here is for us to go from being a baby to an adult, to go from being a taker to a giver. Every person who was ever born must learn this lesson morally. A person must set for themselves this goal. I want to be a giver rather than just a taker. And of course we've discussed this many times, there are many different ways, many different paths in life, many different opportunities in life to be a giver, and we've also discussed there are times when each of us needs to be a taker, and we have to be able to do that also when it is necessary, but the ideal is as much as possible to grow into being a giver, a doer for others. This is one of the most fundamental and profound lessons that Torah teaches us in the description of creation because this is why we are here. I told this story a long time ago but it's well worth repeating. It's a true story that I heard from Rabbi Yachil Spiro and the names have been changed. So we'll call them Baruch and Aviva Fried, and their children, religious family live in Muncie, New York, and a number of years ago for Yumkipper they traveled to Aviva's parents who live in Washington, D.C. Muncie to Washington is a five to six hour drive depending on traffic. They arrived just before the holiday Yumkipper in the afternoon, and when they arrived at her parents' home they realized that they had forgotten at home in Muncie a medicine that their son needs. This is a medicine that was absolutely necessary. Their son has a rare and serious medical condition. So their struggling now to figure out what to do. They started calling local pharmacies, no one had it. Of course, if they couldn't find this medicine they would have to drive back to Muncie even if it meant driving on Yumkipper because this is a case of Sakhanatna Fashtot of possible threat to life. It takes precedence over even Yumkipper, but they had an idea. They knew the name of another family in Baltimore. Now Baltimore is about an hour drive from Washington. They knew the name of another family who had a child with this same rare disease because it's a very rare disease. There was a forum, an online forum of the families, the few families who have children that have this disease and how they deal with it and what the problems are and the resources for this. They didn't know this family at all. All they knew was a name and a phone number and that they lived in Baltimore. They called this number and they said, is this, I'm making up a name, Schmul Samuels. Yes, I'm Schmul Samuels. Do you have this medicine? Yes, we have this medicine. Our child also is in this condition and we would be happy to share the medicine with you. Schmul Samuels is the father of several children, husband and wife, religious family also. The problem is it's already close to Yumkipper and there's not enough time for Baruch to drive to Baltimore and back before Yumkipper. Obviously, if that's the only alternative, he'll have to do it, but ideally it'd be best not to have to drive on Yumkipper. Schmul in Baltimore says, I'll meet you halfway, which is really an amazing act of kindness because this person, Schmul in Baltimore, does not know this fellow at all and he's just willing to do this kindness just before Yumkipper starts. I mean, presumably he was busy with his own stuff, but he's willing to put everything aside for a stranger and meet him halfway so they each only have to drive halfway. They would be able each to get there and to get home before Yumkipper starts. It's an amazing act of kindness. They decide on a meeting place that's halfway. Baruch arrives. He sees this man, Schmul standing by his car and recognizes that this is Schmul because on the top of the car is a basket with all of the medicine that Baruch is going to need. He knows this is who it is. Baruch sees that Schmul is standing beside his car and inside his car are Schmul's two sons. Again, what Schmul had done was really keeps going beyond what is needed. He had on the hood of his car, he had a beautifully arranged large basket and it included a big box of chocolates, of course, I guess for before and after the fast, chocolates and the medication, that's the main thing, but he also brought all of the supplies, the syringes and the swabs and the gauze pads and the bandages and it was all wrapped up beautifully in this gift basket ready for Baruch to take it and get back home so they can get both back up, both get back home in time for Yumkipper. Baruch is really just overwhelmed with this chesed on top of chesed kindness on top of kindness. So they greeted each other Baruch, thanks Schmul profusely and Baruch went back to the car. He gave the medicine to his son right away because his son needed it right away and now it's very close to Yumkipper. It's maybe 45 minutes to Yumkipper. Remember they each have about a 30 minute drive, 45 minutes to Yumkipper, so Baruch is about to hurry back to his in-laws home and all of a sudden there's a knock on his window, one of Schmul's boys is knocking on his window and in his hand this boy is holding a yellow toy school bus. So Baruch had no idea what this was for. What is this? So the boy says, the little boy says, it's a present for your son. I want your son to have it. So the boy says. Now Baruch is very moved by this boy's gesture. He's very moved by this boy's gesture. He's but he felt that he could not accept this gift. It was really too much. He insisted that the boy keep it for himself but Schmul comes out of the car and says, no, my son wants to give it to your son and after a lot of persuasion and remember they're both in a hurry to leave, Baruch takes the toy but Baruch had a hunch that there were two boys in the car, an older boy and the younger boy and the older boy brought this toy. So Baruch had a hunch that Schmul told his older son to take a toy away from the younger son and give it to the other boy and in that case Baruch certainly did not want to be a part of taking away a toy from another boy, from another child. All right. But he couldn't argue anymore. It's late. He had to start driving and so he's about to pull away and as he's pulling away and he passes Schmul's car he sees that he's right because he sees in the car in the back seat the two boys, the little boy is crying. So obviously what Baruch thought was true, that the toy had gotten taken away from the little boy and Baruch says to himself close to young Kipper, yes, we're in a hurry, yes, but I will not be party to taking a toy away from a little boy and the boy is crying. So Baruch stops his car, he gets out of the car, he walks over to Schmul's car and he says, please take the school bus toy back. I see that your little boy is crying. I will not take this toy and Schmul smiled at Baruch and he said, my little boy is not crying because someone took away his toy. It's just the opposite. My little son is crying because he also wants to give your son a present. That's an example of being and raising children to be a giver to others. God is perfect. God lacks nothing, but God created this world and everything in it with all of its complexity and its challenges. So there would be opportunities for people to develop from takers to givers. For example, to require a partner in order to have children. A partner to whom, to you have to give and love and respect and help. And then with God's help to have a baby who is totally dependent on you for every need requiring you to be a giver and in every other area of life, the opportunities which we often look at as shortcomings or challenges but they are also opportunities to be able to give to someone else to help someone else. And every time we do this, we validate God's act of creation in the way that God did it. Rabbi J.J. Schachter points out the following. Our rabbis and the medias ask a very strange question and the answer they give is even more strange. Our rabbis and the medias ask Lama Nivraholambe Be'ez. Why does the Torah begin with the letter Be'ez? Berajus. Berajus in the beginning, the first letter is the letter Be'ez. Bet. Why not alif? Alif is the first letter in the Hebrew alphabet. Why not start the beginning with alif? Why start with Be'ez? Okay, that's a strange question because you got to start with some letter and whatever letter you're going to start with, you could ask why not start with another letter. Okay, that's the question. Then the rabbis' answers follows. The Torah begins with the letter Be'ez shihuloshan bracha because Be'ez is the first letter in the word bracha, which means blessing. The low alif and does not start with the letter alif shihuloshan arirah because alif is a letter that is the first letter of the word arirah, which means cursed. Now that answer is even more bizarre than the question because as the commentaries point out, Torah Nima asks this question, others, there are many, many words that start with the word Be'ez, which could be not so nice. And there are many, many words that start with alif that are very beautiful. So what in the world are our rabbis teaching us by saying start with Be'ez because of bracha, not alif, because of arirah? So Rabbi Jeje Shaktir gives the following explanation. In Hebrew, the letters also stand for numbers. Alif stands for one, Be'ez stands for two, Gimel stands for three, et cetera. To be an alif is to be singular, is to be one. And to be one is to be alone. To be alone is arirah, is to be lonely, to be unfulfilled. You cannot be a giver if you are alone. To be a Be'ez, Be'ez is two. And to be alone is arirah. If you're Be'ez, that means you're part of at least a couple. That means that you are with someone else. It could be a close friend, it could be family, it could be a spouse, it could be a community, but you're not alone. You're connected. And that includes being connected to a synagogue community, to a shul community, or any other kind of connection. That's Baruch. That's blessing. Because then you can be a giver. And even if the way in which you are a giver is to give attention to someone else, or companionship to someone else, certainly if you're able to give friendship to someone else or something more substantive, but as long as you are a Be'ez, that's a life of Baruch. That's a life of blessing. That's why the world is created with Be'ez, not olive. And that's why we are created needing each other so we can focus on helping each other. My friends, I wish you a great day and I look forward to seeing you soon in person.