Ayya Santussika: Nurturing Sangha

Welcome everyone. So I've been reflecting on how to nurture the sangha and I think there's a few different sides to this. There's the nurturing that we receive from being part of the sangha. Obviously, sangha connection is so important and we all know that the Buddha said that this is 100% of the holy life, not 50% as Ananda suggested, but 100%. And I think what the Buddha was saying there is, first of all, we really benefit from connection and community that is based on moral virtue and the other qualities that the Buddha identified as crucial to development, like generosity and the Brahma Viharas and all those things that were taught in the delma and putting them into practice and sharing with each other and how that's unfolding in our own paths, in our own life. But more than that, it's connection with those who have already realized truth, realized yabana, as we might say, have seen through the illusion of what we think of as the world, Sangsara. And when I think about nurturing the sangha, the big thing that's been coming up for me personally over this last couple of weeks has been nurturing the bhikkhuni sangha. There's definitely a need for really looking for all of us bhikkhunis to really look at how bhikkhunis get trained, how they are able to develop skills, how we can learn how to be leaders, and all of that for the bhikkhuni sangha is in this larger context that I'm sure many of you know about that there's been a thousand years of suppression of bhikkhuni ordination. And so just starting in the last 25, 30 years, this is starting to come forth again. So it's all very new in the grand scheme of things, pretty nation still, and needs the reflection and the support to try to understand well how do we help this to grow and become solid and we to really have something to offer those women who want to enter sangha life, enter the holy life. So that's been a reflection and then the broader reflection is the sangha, like our community at Karuna Buddhist Vihara, our community that reaches around the world really, thanks to Zoom, thanks to the pandemic who knew the pandemic could have this benefit. And you know how do you nurture a sangha of people regardless of whether we're lay or monastic inclined. And for the Karuna Buddhist Vihara Sangha, you know I really see the incredible sincerity and dedication people bring to the practice, bring you know and really nurturing their practice. Over these years we've seen so much development in people and it's so inspiring. And I feel like again the pandemic was a kind of interesting influence because then you know like on Saturday mornings when we have this meeting, this meeting started because of the pandemic and how intense it was in the beginning, like how to deal with that and the need to be able to connect even though we couldn't see each other very much in person. And then you know that kind of check-in process and I've heard praise for it and I've heard people saying oh I hate that kind of thing. Do I really have to talk? Oh gosh and I know my mother was that sort of person. She hated this, you go around the room and say something. She probably wouldn't come back if that was happening. And hopefully it doesn't feel like too much pressure. And then you know we don't do it all the time because you know we can change it up and most things in this world they well everything does change and a lot of times the way to nurture is to you know do what's needed as much as possible at the right time as much as we can sort of sense that and apply it and then you know do it differently at a different time. You know having had the experience of nurturing a family and especially growing children you know there's it's obvious that you have to change your approach from time to time to really try to be present with what the needs are what the challenges are at the moment. I think this is true of anything. You know businesses grow they start out with you know maybe a fresh idea of something to create or or offer and and then as they grow things have to change the way you work with them and in the Sangha you know there's there's an opportunity to reflect on well what is it that the this organization or this group of people really needs right now. And of course if you happen to be in a leadership position then that reflection is best if it's really about the the people and not about one's self. And of course when we're offering nurturing we also have to take care of ourselves. This is also very important otherwise we don't have very much to give right. And as we're part of an organization we also can think about the ways in which we are nurtured by being in the organization and the ways in which we can offer some nurturing as well. One of the aspects is how do we work with challenges how do we deal with things that need to be addressed. And when I look at the Sangha you know the way the Buddha set up the monastic Sangha the whole Vinaya is really an outgrowth of dealing with problems that arise. And it's really a beautiful template for us because the Buddha wasn't punitive in the way he worked with people who were doing things that were disruptive or upsetting or disgraceful you might say. It was very much about support supporting them to stop doing things that were harmful to others or or disturbing to the lay people or whatever you know that that might be. It's not about trying to suppress people or punish them as I said it's it's about guidance and support for recognizing the ramifications of our actions and changing those actions to come into alignment with what's more wholesome and helpful. And in that process we have the opportunity to look at what's really motivating our actions. Sometimes it's very deep-seated conditioning sometimes it can be the result of trauma it can be the result of the the pressures of being in a very unstable and dangerous world and the coping mechanisms that we develop in order to handle that. So given the the challenges of living in the world we we really see it's not just living in the world either is it it's it's having a human body and dealing with aging sickness and death and and really seeing that the Buddha you know gave us this wonderful description of dharma and the practices that lead us to a full realization of dharma and how together we can learn and we can learn from each other how to use those practices how to apply them you know how to apply the dharma to this is really about you know whatever the challenge is how do I meet it from this understanding we have so far dharma and and this is this is this is really cultivated and developed within a community and even if the community is a very small group and you have a teacher that you respect and trust to help lead it and then you can develop you know like really together developing in that and addressing whatever comes so the the Buddha gave us so many examples in the suttas you know the way he would work with people and how he would explain things how he would kind of invite their curiosity their buy-in into engagement in a in a topic how he could ask some questions and help them come to their own conclusion about you know what's really true instead of just what they've been taught to believe it's so beautiful and fascinating and as a teacher also trying to learn because each of us the kurnies we're leading these small places and we're learning ourselves as we go and this is of course true of most most monastics most teachers most people that is it's um just such an interesting collection of causes of conditions that we you know reflect on our own inner experience and we at the same time offer what we can to support those around us and it's such an interesting interleaving of growth that I think really is so importantly based on the fundamentals of dedication to truth of practicing moral virtue of kindness it's messy it's imperfect it really can't be any other way given that that's um that's conventional reality the dedication that I see in people in this community is so inspiring and also the compassion that I see that we have for others for each other and I and I really encourage people to become part of like the community what's app where people are you know sometimes share the challenges they're facing and people offer their their support and I think you know if you're on the receiving end of that support you really have a feeling of how much it means even though it may seem like a little thing to say you know we're really thinking of you um it's not a small thing when the heart really resonates with another person's experience and that gets multiplied by the group you know we really are feeling for someone you might say I feel like that really has a tangible effect you know the word one of the words that gets translated as compassion in poly is autocompa and it's the the root of that word is like uh trembling or you know it's like that resonance that trembling um you're really moved by what someone else is going through so just feel like this is part of the way we nurture the Sangha and we nurture our connection with each other that resonance with the human experience and when we you know as the Buddha did talking about aging sickness and death and how we all share that because we're all in that experience and the empathy the resonance that brings compassion to the forefront that brings the humility that we really all share this we're in the same boat no matter whether we have wealth or we don't whether we have at this time good health or we don't whether we're young or old we're still all sharing the same experience and I think this is one of the things that of course really encourages us to create this bond that we call Sangha that we call community because it's better together in a family in a community in the community at whatever level we we are looking at it whether it's the monastic Sangha the Sangha of a community the Sangha of friends meeting together the beautiful alchemy of different voices the way in which we learn and develop because we are seeing things from different angles and we're seeing things from different angles and sharing that is so valuable and you know I want to come back again to this idea of you know when the Buddha talked about friendship being 100% of the holy life and he repeated this teaching to King Pasenade I believe it was he talked about how he was the best friend you know he he had a really huge community of monastics and thousands of monks and nuns and then he had of course all the lay people that were affected by all of those people that he had trained and passed the Dhamma onto and that the the community of monks and nuns Dhamma onto and that the the community effect was really writing on the benefit of the Buddha's awakening and that he's the best friend because he can pass this what do we want to call it the felt sense of awakening along to others and we find the same thing with the Kruva Ajans you know they're such good friends because we can catch the spiritual energy from them we can we can catch the inspiration the encouragement to practice the benefits of seeing the truth and we're not alone in the dark anymore we're in a Sangha that is inclining towards the Vannap quite consciously quite openly articulating that and following and you know even at times when as individuals we might feel like we're not making any progress we don't feel inspired it's dry it's difficult it feels like things are just going wrong you wonder if this mishap in our life is because of some horrible deed we must have done in the past or some such thing it's being in the Sangha and and getting you know like sharing where we're at and hearing the responses and developing a sense of our own ability to walk through those times with their the support of our of our friends and the example of that best friend that really carries us and you know it might sound strange but I think we all know that even sharing those most difficult times is a way that we ourselves are also nurturing the Sangha you know by facing what comes in our life what comes across our path to you know when we share those things even when we're struggling there's an inspiration there's a call to the members of the Sangha to help help us along and that strengthens our connection that strengthens our sense of community I remember when I was in you know software design a part of an organization and sometimes it would bring in people for community development exercises and it's interesting when you when you experience a well-designed exercise that you might do you know for a couple hours in an afternoon together with people that you don't usually work with you're in the same organization it's some kind of challenge that you have to solve together and then you do it and you suddenly you feel a connection to these people like there's a certain kind of bond that comes and I found it interesting because the whole thing is so artificial in a sense but this is our human tendency and in the Sangha together we're talking about real life really what challenges us really what we're facing that can seem so overwhelming when we're on our own and maybe we still feel overwhelmed even when we're together but we do develop these bonds these connections we do help each other we nourish the Sangha and of course those so-called bonds that were created with people during that you know afternoon of some kind of made-up challenge I don't even remember who they are now I don't remember I remember the feeling I remember the the the process I remember the result but I don't remember them and I'm not in connection with them so it's but it's different when it's when it's our life experience and it's different when we continue to nurture it we grow together we grow in understanding of each other over time through many experiences so when we share what we're experiencing with each other we can notice our in ourselves what we're what's coming up what we experience internally and still be wet with what's happening externally and that internally externally thing that the Buddha even pointed to right in the foundations of mindfulness at first when I encountered that where the Buddha would talk about you know understanding you know internally and externally about the body or feeling or mind or dharma it was a little confusing like what does he mean by that you know like okay I'm watching the breath am I supposed to be you know like I'm noticing my breath am I supposed to be noticing the breathing of the person sitting next to me in meditation but now it's it it makes so much sense it's like whatever situation we're in engaging with whatever it's happening seemingly on the outside of us with someone else we can observe you know what's going on inside like even right now as you're listening to this what's coming up inside of you how does how do you are were you affected by what you're hearing and at the same time observing what's happening externally taking in what you're hearing what you're seeing and this is the practice of being in the present moment to really be aware and present with that felt sense what is what is arising can it be abiding in this present moment in the dharma what does it mean to be abiding in the dharma or your consciousness if you call it that or nibbana you can start to get the sense of it's possible to abide in this indescribable indescribable we keep trying to describe it unnameable peace wisdom awareness the aspect the the uncondition that which doesn't change how do you sense that or it's even like not really quite sensing anything you know like we talked about last night in the sutta you know those things that are sense search for and so on sought after appropriated you know that's not it those things change can we can we come to a familiarity with what doesn't change is it that home that's always there in the background that we're aware of and then we turn our attention to something else we come back and it's still there is it a feeling in the body not a physical feeling not even a mental feeling but a knowing and then is it possible to reside in that as we're aware of what's happening externally can we reside in that and aware of what's happening internally that comes from our conditioning the thinking mind the the feelings the thoughts the acts you know kind of the aspects of the body or other the other condos so it's it's like it's almost like okay now we're kind of talking about three layers the unconditioned what's happening in that conventional level of what we think of as I think of as me conventionally and what's happening in conventional reality around us we can be aware of all of that and and how does this relate to nurturing the sangha it's because it's within this collective that we're most safe that we're the most it's most supportive of being able to let go enough to realize these things that's what I think that's how I experience it so much has changed in my life so much has changed in the way I understand and I owe so much of that to my teachers to the Buddha to the expression of the dharma and to see the distinction between the expression of the dharma and the actual dharma to you know because it's so hard with language actual dharma the way I'm saying that right now that is the unconditioned that's something that's available and directly seen by all of us as we you know always chant the chant the qualities of dharma apparent here and now timeless inviting us to come and see leading us in words to be experienced individually by the wise it's an individual experience and yet we find the the strength the resource the guidance for that in community in relationship to people who are leading us through it communicating sharing the experience of it sangha friendship and then the the natural response is gratitude as Ajahn Pasanam said to me the natural response is gratitude and renunciation more letting go gratitude and letting go so my thanks to everyone who's been sangha i'm gonna stop my comments there and invite your sharing yes kush yeah I was just like to say you started with saying about leading in bikini and I wanted to say that um you did a really good job at leading like that's the first thing that came to my mind honestly I never thought that I would be very comfortable just being so open with the monastic in my life and this is the first time I've had somewhat of a relation with the monastic in my life I've honestly like like I had just like the monks here they kind of very I don't want to they kind of it's hard to have a relation with them so using a really good job at leading this and yeah I would just like to say that firstly um and I whatever uh whatever you've said I've actually written them down I've written them down even in the morning so yeah I really like tried to um take in the dharma that you've told me and I try have tried to reflect and I've come up with more questions so but that's okay I can ask questions yeah okay so uh um last time you talked about detachment and I was thinking I've never really had a relationship with a human being that is not attached to someone and I was thinking I don't know what that feels like I have no idea when somebody gets sad and I'll get sad if somebody's crying then I might start crying or something like that so what would be the difference between desensitization and detachment I know that two different things but if somebody I'm asking for someone who has experienced it so what would be like the difference because they're on the external it might kind of look the same because like you don't really have the yeah the empathy is still there so like yeah yeah it's a very good question in my experience that um we'll call it detachment for the moment that um it's kind of a well it comes from wisdom that's my experience insight insight into the impermanence of everything insight into the dukkha the suffering inherent in all sankharas all experience