LOVE and DEATH 2026: Keeping Close (Part 5B)

Thank you for listening to UPIA's Dharma Podcast, an extraordinary series of talks from some of the finest teachers in the world. I'm Joan Halifax, founder of the UPIA's End Center, and we're happy to make these podcasts available to you. Please consider making a donation so we can offer these recordings freely. You'll find a donation button on our podcast page. And thank you so much. This is Dharma Podcast at DharmaPodcast.org. This is episode number 2671. It was recorded on September 21, 2026. And it is part 5B, the closing session of a multi-part series titled Love and Death 2026. This episode is titled Keeping Clothes Part B. The speakers for this episode are Frank Ostasezki and Joan Halifax. So just find a chair when you come in and we'll get started. If you'd arrange yourself in the circle so that you're facing someone so that if there's someone opposite you, that would be ideal. Everybody just take a chair that will help us to know. See, so I can't see, so you have to tell me if you have everybody in. Everybody's sitting opposite. We don't have to take away any chairs. So everyone could find a chair and sit down. That would be great. Anyone has an open chair next to them? Can you raise your hands? Right over here. The open chair's there. You have one chair there? Or your pair? Any open chairs over here? Okay, so we're going to clear these chairs. Everybody could just stay seated. It would really help us. And we can see if all the chairs are full. Can you guys clear this pair here? It's tight anyway. And then Susie and Austin, you guys can sit here. These two, okay? So I think, yeah. Susie and Austin will sit here. Wonderful. We have someone sitting opposite. Does anybody not have a partner? No, he doesn't have a partner. There's one partner here. So one of the residents could be a partner if you don't. I can do it, but John's setting up a measure. I understand. Is there someone else though that's wandering around while the residents could do it? I think I can do it. Well, one of the residents could step out, Noah. No. I think it's okay. Yes, Wendy. Someone will need to give me the timing. So if maybe John can do it and you don't do it, that would be great. Do you want to start giving the instruction? Yeah. John, get back. Do you know it? Yeah. Do you want to just ask one of the residents in that circle to leave and then you'll have an even number? As soon as John gets back, I can join so that you don't want to do that way. Great. Thank you, Masha. Nancy, can you join? I know. I know. I know. I know. Can I go back? Okay. Munchen, actually... We'd like you to be in it, Munchen. We'd like you to be in it. Is there another resident in that set of circles? No. Thank you, Munchen. Okay. Wonderful. So it's a little bit of chaos. Now let's just settle in. There's breath and body for a moment. Feeling the weight of gravity, weight of your body in the chair, feet on the floor, sitting with a sense of dignity, and self-respect. So in a moment, we're going to do a ritual and I'm going to describe to you how to do that. We're going to use in our practice five remembrances of core Buddhist teaching. And when I was going on begging rounds with monks in Thailand, I remember we'd go around and people would all put food in their begging bowls, a little bit of rice, a phantasyoda, something, a little bit of curry. And the monks would collect, the Munchen nuns would collect offerings and bring them back to the monastery. And in return, they would give a small teaching. And a teaching is always a gift. So in this ritual, what you're going to be doing is giving the gift of a teaching to your partner, the person opposite you. We're not imposing something on them. We're not leading them into some experience. We're just offering it as a gift. What will happen when we ring a bell is that the people on the outer circle, they will read the five remembrances, all five to their partner opposite them, in a soft voice as if it was intimate between the two of you. Again, just as an offering, not something they have to get. And then you can see how it lands. And then what will happen is then the person on the inner circle will read the five remembrances back to their partner. And when that exchange has occurred, you can offer a bow or put your hand on your heart. What will happen is that people will read at different times in the circle. But when it's clear that everyone in the circle has read, the outer circle will stand up and they'll move one chair to the right. Sit down again. Without words, greet their partner. And we'll do the very same practice again. The outer circle reading, the five remembrances, the inner circle. When that's finished, the inner circle person reading to their partner. You can see how it goes. And so each time we'll do that, the outer circle will move one seat to the right until you finally come back to where you began. So there's a couple of levels of awareness here. There's self-awareness. What's happening for me as I read this? What's the impact on me as I read this? There's awareness of the other, the partner that you're reading to. How is this landing with them? How is this gift being received? Not in judgment, but just in awareness. And then there's awareness of the whole group because you're trying to be mindful of when is it time to stand? When is it time to move the circle? All of that requires your attention and awareness of self, awareness of the other, awareness of the group. Yeah? Okay. Now people will again read at different paces, but here again, awareness of the group is important because if you've decided that the really slow enunciation of every word is essential, well, you might be holding up the whole rest of the group. Or if you're speeding through it, you might be rushing the rest of the group along. So as best we're able to maintain these three levels of awareness. Okay? What's most important in all of this is not the mechanics, but the feeling, the truth of these words in your own body, in your own heart, in your own mind. And it's really that, that's the place of the gift, is coming from that place, coming from that, your own recognition. You offer this gift. Okay? Before we begin, is there any question that you have? No? Good. And Wendy will be giving the people online their instructions. So that's a different thing. Okay. We have a bell. Okay. So we are here in this ceremony, a little bit different than in person, but instead we're going to have each person who raised their hand read through the five remembrances once, and then we'll move on to the next person. So please raise your hand if you'd like to read, and we'll just go in sequence until the room is also done, and then we'll end here. We may not get through everyone, or we may have too much time, but we'll just go through the five remembrances. So we'll move on to the next person. So please raise your hand if you'd like to read, and we'll just go in sequence until the room is also done, and we may not get through everyone, or we may have too much time, just depends on how it goes. But as you're listening to each person, be in a state of meditation, and just let the words sink in and see what resonates with you, see what comes up for you, and just note what is happening within yourself. Is that okay? Are we ready to begin? Let's sit for just three breaths together. And it's such a miracle to be able to be together like this with everyone, even though we're not in the same room, but we're in the same time, spread out over the globe. So we can actually breathe together as a community. So let's take three breaths together first. Breathing in, feeling the whole community, and then breathing out. Breathing in, feeling the whole community breathing with you. And then breathing out. One more. Feeling the whole community that you're not alone. We're all doing this together. Wonderful. I will call on you and unmute you. Judy. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. Take a breath and bow. Susan, personette. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. At two. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. Nancy S. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. Anne Beeson. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. Nancy Miller. Grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. Linda Miller. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. I am of the nature to have ill health. them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. I can't unmute you for some reason. And it's I think stuck so we'll move on to Mariana. Go ahead. I am the nature of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. Amanda. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. Jill. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. Norma. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape having ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. Nancy. Berlin. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. Shinkel. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. Maria. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. Larry. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. Pat. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. Mariana Maddox, I can't hear you. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape death. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. Ada. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape death. I am of the nature to grow old, there is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to reveal health, there is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die, there is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. Gene. I am of the nature to grow old, there is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health, there is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die, there is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. Karen. Yes, Karen, Sharon, Hegel. I am of the nature to grow old, there is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health, there is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die, there is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. Gene. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health, there is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die, there is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. Mary Ann. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die, there is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. Tanya. I am of the nat