How Do You See Your Neighbour?

God wants people to be happy. I think that is why God created this world, this universe, and all of us. God wants us to be happy. And what is the key to happiness for us? It is good, life-giving relationships. That is what makes us happy. When God created Adam, he had everything. He had land, animals, all the food that he wanted. But it was not enough because he was lonely. When God created Eve, he was finally complete. This was his declaration. This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. Through good, loving relationships, our lives can be happy and complete. God has given us relationships so that we can experience fullness and contentment. But we know that our reality is often very different. The very thing that's supposed to make us happiest is often the thing that causes us the most difficulty for students when your relationships with classmates and schoolmates are not good. Or for those of you who are working, when your relationships with coworkers and colleagues are not good, it can make your life very miserable and difficult. When your relationship with your spouse or family members are strained, it causes grief and heartache. So in order to be happy, you need to have good relationships with the people around you. God understood this. I mean I think that's how God created things to be. And so therefore, good relationships are at the center of God's law. I mean there's 400-something laws in the Old Testament. And a lot of them center around how to live in good relationship with one another. And in today's passage, Paul summarizes all of these laws in that one command. You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The thing with neighbors is you don't choose your neighbors. Like your literal neighbors, you don't choose them. Who lives beside you or across the street. You don't choose your classmates. And you don't, unless you're the CEO or boss, you don't choose your coworkers and colleagues. And you don't choose your family members. They are all given to you. God has placed them in your life for better or worse. The question therefore is how will you live with your neighbor. Because your happiness really depends on that. Human beings are so complex and interesting. I mean Adam was so happy when he met Eve. At last this is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. But what do we see happen immediately in the next chapter in Genesis? Adam starts blaming Eve. This woman gave me the fruit to eat. That is our experience. The more you get to know someone, the harder it is to live with them in harmony. So what determines the possibility of a good relationship with your neighbor? What determines the possibility of a good relationship? And to me it is this. How you see your neighbor. That's what determines a good relationship. How do you see your neighbor? Do you see mainly negative things in them and their flaws? Or are you able to see past their flaws and look at them with love? How you see them determines whether you can love your neighbor. Many times a bad experience with the person shapes how you see them. If you've been hurt by them you see them only as someone capable of hurting you. If you've been lied to or cheated you can see them only in that light. A lot of times how you see people is shaped by your own experiences. And the thing is once you see someone a certain way that view of them often gets fixed. Right? Oh they are like this. And so whatever they do starts to reinforce your view of them. In other words they are trapped by your view of them and they cannot change. And so your relationship with them cannot change. Another thing about humans is that people have memory. We remember things. If you've had a bad experience with someone oh you remember that and you hold on to that memory. And that memory then shapes how you see that person. All these things come in the way of good relationships with the people around you. Paul quoted the commandment you shall love your neighbor and that command comes from Leviticus. The full passage in Leviticus goes like this. Do not nurse hatred in your heart for any of your kin. Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against any of your people. But you shall love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord. To love your neighbor you cannot see them through your past hurts and grievances. Your history and past experiences with the neighbor cannot be the basis of your relationship with them. So what is the key then to loving your neighbor? It is this. The ability to forgive and move on. The ability to forgive and move on. But that is the most difficult thing to do isn't it? But that is the root of the issue. Our inability to forgive is what prevents you from being able to love your neighbor. Because the thing about people is the more you come into contact with someone it's inevitable that there will be something misunderstandings annoyances grievances. If you cannot forgive in your heart and let go of any grudges or grievance you will not be able to have that good relationship. But how do you change how you see a person when there is a past and that past is so strong? How do you get over the weight of that past? It is very difficult especially when there is a lot of history and a lot of baggage. And that's why often family relations are the most difficult ones to reconcile and get over and be able to have that truly nourishing relationship. To change how you see other people you first need to be changed by God. People form opinions and make judgments based on what they see or experience. What people see or experience from you is a part of who you are. I mean what they've experienced from you is real. Like if I've said something that can hurt someone that is a real thing. That is reflects partly who I am. But that is not all of who I am. It doesn't disclose where some of these things might be coming from. People cannot see your complete inner self. They cannot see the underlying motivations. They cannot see your thoughts. They cannot see your heart. That is the nature of our human relations. But God can and God does see everything. See for us we conceal the heart. We put an armor around our heart probably because we're too embarrassed or self-conscious or ashamed to reveal our true heart to others. Perhaps you've been hurt and you're scared to reveal your true self. But real change only starts when your heart is seen by God. When your heart is seen all of you is exposed. Your thoughts, your sins, your fears, and your insecurities. And that can be extremely uncomfortable. It can be very distressing, very agonizing because you come face to face with who you really are. You are exposed in the eyes of God. And when this happens you really see yourself for the flawed person that you are. It can be a moment of shame and regret. But that is the beginning of God's work. Yes when you're seen by God you experience a moment of judgment. Judgment for your sins, your shortcomings, the things that you have done, the way you've treated others. And this sense of judgment it brings you to your knees. And there is nothing else to do but to confess your sinfulness. And so yes in our faith journey confession of sins is a very important first step. But something else happens when you are seen by God. There's a moment of judgment but immediately accompanying that is the experience of God's grace. Grace that says you are forgiven of your sins. You are loved as you are. And you are seen not for what you've done in the past but for the person you can be. And the past no longer determines who you are nor your future. A new start is possible. That is what grace does. You start to see yourself as God sees you as a beloved child of God. Yes as someone who is stained by sin but is not defined by it. Experiencing that grace is what changes how you see others. You begin to see the other person with the grace that you yourself have experienced. And just as you have been forgiven by grace it gives you the ability to forgive. You are no longer bound by your grudges and resentments. And the spirit gives you the power to overcome them and see the other person with grace. So the key to loving your neighbor is having the power to forgive that only comes through your own experience of God's grace and forgiveness. Paul says this in today's passage besides this you know what time it is how it is already the moment for you to wake from sleep for salvation is nearer to us now than when we became believers. The night is far gone the day is near. Paul is saying we need to wake up wake up to how we are living life. You know when I look at this world it has become in the last I think maybe it always has been but especially in the last few years it's become a cruel place. It casts harsh judgment on people and it gets people to see the worst in others. That's the kind of world we're living in now. It's become more and more divisive because we're starting to see each other more and more with eyes of suspicion. If we're not awake we simply absorb that culture. We just become a part of that environment. It is time for us to wake up from that environment and culture. It's time to put on the armor of light. It's time to see each other as beloved children of God worthy of love. Flawed and sinful creatures yes but still God's children nonetheless. It was already September and this past week we finally finished our summer ministries. It was a busy summer. We had our high sea retreat in our overnight camp. For our overnight camp our theme was living in God's community and we watched the Zootopia. Have you all seen the movie Zootopia? It's a really nice movie and we compared it with stories in the Bible. In God's community everyone is seen. No one is invisible. But we are seen not by labels that others put on us but for who we truly are that is as God's fellow beloved children. In God's community everyone is very different but that is not the reason to be divided. It is the very thing we celebrate our unity and diversity. You know kids when they I mean we were four days like in close quarters all day right? When kids are together like this they're gonna play but they're gonna bicker and fight. It was a very interesting cycle. They play, fight, play, fight, play all day. But somehow through God's word and the spirit and our reflections together they learn how to work through their differences and see each other with God's grace. At our final worship time everyone embraced one another with God's love and it was a beautiful moment that I'm sure they'll remember. My prayer is that these lessons will remain with them as they head back to school. A new season is indeed upon us. I can't believe it's September already. I like how Jonathan said soon it'll be 2027 then 2030 and and beyond. But as we head back to school as we fully immerse back into our workplaces may God change how you see yourself. May God change how you see others. And may God bless you with loving, life-giving relationships with those around you. Amen.