River Wolton: Flowing Around Obstacles with Support of Metta

I'd like to offer some thoughts and suggestions on the theme of working with distracting thoughts and mind states and learning to befriend the mind of this moment. And also something around abiding, learning to abide little by little in that befriending. There are many skillful ways that are suggested and encouraged in the Buddhist tradition. Sometimes when we encounter thoughts and mind states that feel particularly distracting or disruptive or compelling, obstructive, we can hear the instructions around softening and befriending and turning towards and recognising and allowing and that's all really helpful. But sometimes we can notice that there is a hidden agenda. I just want it to go away. All well and good to become aware, to bring skillful means to bear. But underlying is this, I just want to get past this. It can be a subtle or not so subtle aversion wrapped up in that. So yes, very important to bring this deep knowing, deep knowing and seeing that is fully embodied. But when we use the word recognising, it's got that recogonising piece in it. The knowing again and again and again. And there's a discourse in the early teachings that speaks to specific ways that we can work with what in this particular sutta is called distracting thoughts. And there's five specific ways that are suggested. So when a practitioner is giving attention as we're doing as best we can to a particular object, a particular anchor point. And then there arises in the practitioner what we could call distracting or compelling or obstructive mind states and thoughts. And in the language of the Buddhist tradition these are described as thoughts connected with greed, hatred and delusion. But we can also understand these and indeed they in fact encompass and contain the full range of the hindrances that I was talking about last night. The longing, the pulling, the pushing, the aversion, the irritation, boredom, worry, fear, self-criticism, fantasy and much, much more. So in this first of the five it's suggested that one gives attention to something else, something else that is connected with the wholesome. And that then this giving really, really kind of consciously intentionally giving intention to what is wholesome will help the unwholesome to subside. And the image that's given is of a carpenter or a carpenter's apprentice knocking out one peg by means of another. And this is something I've actually done in my, feels like a very past life but part of this life when I was a carpenter, something I particularly remember times when say a screw had gotten stuck in some wood and maybe it was impossible to kind of unscrew it. The head had fallen off or been cut off or rusted away. And the need to kind of take a finer drill to drill out that peg or that screw or that nail that has gotten stuck. And then it goes on to a second approach which is examining what's called in this translation the danger. The danger of where that particular thought that mind stream that mind state is going to lead. And this is something that needs a lot of repetition like, oh, I'm in that thing again and then I end up there where I really don't want to be. Oh, I'm back there again. Oh, I'm back there. Oh, okay. Can I actually bring it back to noticing when things are moving in that direction or remembering, oh, I don't want to go there. It's not a great place to hang out. So examining the danger in those particular thoughts in that particular state of mind. And the way of noting this is given as this, these thoughts are unwholesome. They are reprehensible. They result in suffering, which can sound heavy, but there are times when we get caught in stuff and we know that it's going to go to a place where the heart and mind is contracted, where it doesn't feel great. It's not a good place for us to be. And the image that's given for this is actually quite a, it's quite full on in a lot of ways. It's that a young person would be just as a young person would be kind of horrified if the carcass of a dead being was to be hung around their neck. And that might seem very extreme for us. And we have to remember that two and a half thousand years ago, very normal to see dead humans and dead beings would be much more part of our daily lives. But that sense of like, oh, I've gone there again and a feeling of like, I really don't want to go there. Okay, can I come back to noticing the moment when that is starting to arise? And the third approach is, so even if that doesn't work, examining the danger in that kind of train of thought, one tries to forget and not give attention. So a sense of really turning away. So just as if someone had eyes and the capacity to see and did not want to see something coming into their sight, they would shut their eyes and turn away. So this is another way we bring a bit more of the kind of courage element in the cut, the factor of courage to just to turn away from what is starting to boil and bubble and arise. And then fourthly, it's to even so even when turning away doesn't work. We give attention to stealing the thought formation. So this is the real kind of the seeds, the real beginnings of the particular patterns that are starting to form. And the image that's given is just as of a practitioner walking fast and they might consider, why am I walking fast? What if I walk slowly? And then they walk slowly and they might consider, why am I walking slowly? What if I stand? And then they might consider, why am I standing? What if I sit? And so it goes on. So there's a sense of a real kind of slowing down and a leaning into a greater kind of subtlety of awareness. So the final one is actually the one that we sometimes mistakenly start with when we're caught in a storm. And you know, you may want to kind of explore if this is something that takes shape in you. So it's really extreme and the image that's given is quite extreme and the phrase that's given is crushing mind with mind as if a strong person was to really wrestle with and subdue a smaller weaker person. But as I say, this is often the place we go to when we get into a battle of like, oh this has arisen again. It's unpleasant. It's not wanted. I don't want it to be here. I'm going to just, you know, push it away and that can be on a subtle or not so subtle kind of level. So we go straight to that kind of pushing away and crushing and not wanting an extreme aversion before we tried all the other things in between that could be possible. So it's really something for the, you know, really the last thing to try. But as I say, often it, you know, it's the one that comes to us first because of certain conditions and certain, you know, habit patterns and because it's hard to be with. It's hard to be with what is difficult and unpleasant, sometimes deeply unpleasant in the mind and heart. It's hard to bear. Ducca, one definition of it is that which is hard to bear. So really important that the way that we relate to mind states, particularly when they feel difficult, distracting, unwanted is infused with this heart quality of meta of befriending. I'm going to say a little bit about some doorways into that. So this first approach of giving attention to a wholesome theme that wholesome theme could be meta, you know wholesome could also be translated as beneficial, skillful, helpful. And it relates a bit to the discourse that I was quoting last night about using an inspiring theme or image that encourages the mind to flow around an obstacle. Important to remember that meta, befriending, kindness, goodwill can be present at the same time as other things that are difficult. Can be present at the same time. Can we have meta towards this too, meta in the midst of this too. And then from that foundation of meta from that grounds well from that soil from that earth of friendliness. We also can learn to nourish and plant the seeds for the bloom for the flower of Karuna of compassion. Compassion for this moment that is difficult, that is hard to bear this moment of being human. This moment that we share with other beings, human, non-human, more than human. We're bringing that care to knowing this as dukkha. So meta and Karuna can really intertwine but the grounding, the foundation is as an image in some of the teachings that has these heart qualities as a house. And meta is at the bottom, it's the foundation. We can learn what the doorways are to meta, particularly to meta for ourselves, often much easier to extend it to others and not so much to this one, this one in our location. And we can learn to abide there. Abide sometimes for just a moment or a micro moment at first. And then we learn to alight and stay for longer. And we learn to abide, abide more and more. So some approaches to learning to abide, recognizing when the quality of meta is present. And this is really an area where we can play, where we can experiment. It's in a way a kind of art form. We have these particular conditions of our minds, hearts, bodies, experiences, our lived identities. And that is going to show up differently for all of us. And we learn where is that quality and how is that quality present and accessible in this form, in this body, with this heart mind. And we learn to pay attention to get familiar with what it feels like on a, you know, sometimes very micro moment basis. We can learn also to call it up intentionally. So this word intention, familiar to some of us and also new to others. Just the word itself can feel quite neutral intention. What's that? What are they talking about? Can feel like, you know, this is a sort of a dryness to it almost. Often we can have an expectation that having the intention of leaning of orienting towards kindness, warmth, benevolence, goodwill, friendliness is going to feel warm and friendly immediately. And that expectation can really get in the way. So even though it can feel very neutral intention, planting the seeds of intention is a really powerful part. We can't get the plant, the flower, the crops, the vegetables without those seeds. And you know, if you are a gardener, if you've been around seeds at all, you know, with these tiny little specs that look like a dry bit of dust sometimes. I'm thinking of, I don't know, kale or cabbage seeds. They're so, so tiny, you could mistake them for just some dust. And yet when we plant them in the soil and given the right conditions of water and nourishment and sun, they can grow into these tall, tall, tall plants. When we have a friend in our lives, another being, another person that we call our friend, there's an aspect of that friendship that is about loyalty that builds up over time. And it doesn't always feel warm and fuzzy. And maybe you know, maybe you have friends that you've had for a number of years or a while. And you know, there can be difficult patches. There can be times when you don't agree about things or you don't see things in the same way or you know, you're kind of, you know, don't agree with how they've behaved or whatever. But there is that sense of connection that continues even through those ups and downs, that sense of loyalty we could call it. And this is the same with these heart capacities and particularly of meta, that we orientate to staying loyal towards it. Towards meta for ourselves, even when it feels very dry and dusty and the self-criticism, the judgment comes along. So really skillful to find the easy doorways and to remind ourselves again and again and again, oh, what's the easy doorway towards this? What worked last time? What worked last year? What worked another time? So this inspiring theme and image that I spoke about last night, it could be an inspiring figure, a figure of love, a figure of courage, someone who's appreciated you, an elder, an ancestor, a friend, a pet, a dog, omelette. I feel quite inspired hearing about Bernat's dog, omelette, who I haven't met. I've seen the photos and she is truly adorable and very, very much an easy doorway into meta. So sometimes it is those animal companions. The animal in my life at the moment is a cat called Colin. He's also very lovable but he's got that cat energy as well of like, you know, sometimes the claws get a bit clory and I'm not always a great fan of the presence that he brings and leaves, the little mice and shrews. But he does have this loyalty and he's incredibly glad to see us and incredibly affectionate. And you know, that is a lovely kind of way in. There can be physical reminders, the gentle touch of a hand, the soothing, the touch of a blanket, you know, using the sense doors as these ways of priming the kind of flow of meta. An image, a place in nature, a memory of feeling beloved, movement sometimes, movement can really support the meta to begin flowing for some of us. The sensations can be really subtle at first, just a small sense of ease and connection and we often underestimate that. We think it's got to be full blown if it's not a torrent, then forget it. But really paying attention to the subtlety, the small sense of ease, the small sense of resting back, of leaning into the earth again, of offering the soothing touch, of recalling a figure, a theme, an image, with which we can lean. For some people it's the figure of the Buddha or of Kuan Yin, the embodiment of compassion. Imagining that they are there, holding really lightly, gently, compassionately, unconditionally. And then we find and we explore the sensations in the body, in the heart, mind, in the present moment, what is evoked. And then, you know, in Jukles we can let go of that doorway and we abide with those sensations and we continue abiding. And of course refreshing the doorway, recalling the doorway as often as is helpful. So I'll pause there and let's ease into some exploration together. Reconnecting with a way that the body can be arranged that is easeful and is wakeful. And if there's sleepiness, remembering you can raise the arms, can stand up, open the eyes. And if there's agitation and restlessness, bringing the attention more to the out breath, the back of the body, grounding the sitting bones down into the earth, creatively engaging with this moment, recognizing, recognizing, oh, it's like this right now. And when or if the tangles and the contractions arise, just very gently turning towards an easy doorway of befriending, remembering that kindness can be present alongside what is difficult.