Zohar Lavie: Talk - Fulfilling Stillness - Journeying Beyond the Unknown

This afternoon when we were doing the speaking and listening exercise in here, Mark and I were also doing it with each other. And it was my turn to say and of what had really kind of left an impression on me from these days together. The first thing that came to heart and mind was the quality of depth in this hall. A number of times I've come in and sat down and just tuned into that really, really something. And the fact that it's all of us creating it together as we were kind of doing the exploration, it was like any one person that would have been swapped from someone else and this would have been different. So it really moves me and I wanted to begin by saying that and by thanking you, each of you, for being here in your particular way of being kind of weaving into this tapestry, this depth. Sometimes I kind of open my mouth at the beginning of a talk, I don't exactly know what's going to come. My notes are saying that I now need to speak about the schedule for tomorrow morning. So let's kind of listen to that with that same sense of depth. Actually quite relevant to where we are on this trajectory. So hopefully no one is surprised that it does happen sometimes. That tomorrow is the closing day. Yeah! Of this retreat for most of us. There are some of those who have been on this retreat who are continuing into personal retreat. But for most of us, whether we've been here for six days or 16 days, tomorrow is the closing day. So the schedule will be a tiny little bit different. It will be in its entirety up on the notice board after this talk. Or only after the chanting, I don't know, some point this evening. But the important bit is that the wake up is at the usual time of six o'clock. And then at 6.25 we won't have the gentle movement. We will have a stillness practice in here for half an hour. And at 6.55 we will be exploring Dhanah, speaking about it and what it is and how to practice it. And we ask everyone to be here for that. So that includes those who are carrying on in personal retreat. If you can please come for that. And then yeah, all else will be revealed when the schedule is revealed. But that's the important thing to kind of note this evening. So yeah, noticing how you feel about conditions changing. It's worthwhile noticing what is arising as we bring that to mind. It can be a lot of different responses in us to that. Sometimes some of them may feel contradictory. But whatever is arising, if it's nervousness, if it's excitement, if it's agitation, wanting it, not wanting it, both wanting it and not wanting it, whatever is arising, can we remember this is conditioned. Whatever is arising within us, this is conditioned. How can I meet it in the best possible way available to me within the conditions of this moment? That's the, I have onward leading question for us. And it can be helpful also to remember conditions are changing. But we are all continuing to walk this path. So conditions may be changing and yet we continue to walk this path. We continue to explore. This can be actually very rich and fertile ground. And so if questions are arising in you for you, like how do I keep the insights alive? How do I remember with a changing of conditions? Those are fruitful questions if we hold them with openness. And I'd like to over the talk this evening hopefully touch on some of that. So it can be helpful to reflect, you know, what have we been doing over these days here? What have we been doing over these days here? What have we been practicing? And I would say, if I had to say it in just a few words, I would say, we have been practicing playing with perception. We have looked at experience in different ways. And as we've looked at it in different ways, we've also seen how that impacted what was perceived. So we've been playing with perception, making it more pliable, more malleable, more flexible. And then utilizing that malleability of perception to play with it further. And I think we can apply this to any practice that we've been doing here over the days. When we've been experiencing or exploring kind of openings into gatheredness in well-being. That's perception changing when we've been exploring expansiveness, spaciousness, vastness. That's perception when we've been bringing in metacompassion. That's playing with perception. Does that make sense? Here we see that. And I'm using that language because I find it useful to remember it's all perception. The practice that we did today or one of the variations of it is to look at something and say, ah, you're a perception. This is a perception. It's a fabrication. It's dependently arising. And as we do that, something can lighten up. Do you feel that? Yeah? Today, yesterday, over the days as we've been practicing, something can lighten up as kind of there's less clinging. Less demand, less push-pull. And of course, you know, we could wake you up in the middle of the night and ask you, what's there when there's less clinging and less push-pull? And you'll say, less dukkha. More well-being. We've all been trained in that over the days. And that's great. That's great. So why do this? Why practice in this way? Why explore playing with perception in this way? And one response when I was reflecting on it earlier today is because it reveals the dependent arising of experience to us. It reveals that so clearly. Remembering, whatever is perceived in this moment is a perception, not the perception. It's a perception, not the perception and certainly not the only perception possible. And when we remember that again, something lightens up. When I look this way, appearances appear a certain way. And when I change the way I look, appearances appear differently. It really is, wow, to see that. To see that for a moment. And yet, all of us here have seen it for more than a moment. And that's wow. So this is something we can kind of soak into our being and hopefully we've been doing that. And something we can remember. This is a perception. It's a perception. It's not the perception. It's not real in the way that I take it to be. I like that phrase because it reminds me of the conditioning. This is not real in the way I think it is. This is not real in the way I take it to be real. And that's subtle. It's hard to put into words because it doesn't mean that it's not real. But it's not real in the way I take it to be. Sokni Rinpoche, the Tibetan teacher, master, he has this phrase that I really love and kind of take it or leave it, see if you love it. He says, you know, we need to remember, you know, we meet experience. This is real, not true. Real, not true. Real, not true. And if you want, you can swap it around. This is true, not real. Doesn't matter. Either way, it's this kind of neither-nor place. We respect our experience. We respect what's arising. But we don't put on it, more than it is. And the Buddha, you know, was of course, as we've said, I mean, we certainly feel incredibly gifted in language, real poets. And yet the freedom that he realized and that he's pointing towards is very difficult to put into words, very difficult to put into language. And the fact that the Buddha left for us, the Buddha and all the practitioners after them, have left for us this path, this guidance towards a pragmatic release within a world that can never be described, this is the Buddha's language, as either is, nor is not. Real, not true. True, not real. It's a perception, not the perception. So all of these words that I'm using, they're pointing towards a powerful and very potent, very profound, middle way, not real in the way I'm taking it to be. Does not exist independently from its own side. Neither is, nor is not. Neither is, nor is not. And these understandings and insights are something we need to keep mulling on, reflecting on, digesting, absorbing and putting into practice. We don't just hear it one time or two times or three times or on one retreat. Keep digesting, keep applying. It takes a long-term application and exploration to really plumb the depths of that understanding. And yet it's also liberating in the moment. This is also a middle way. It makes sense to us and we can see it in the moment. So we've been playing with perception. And again, why do this? Why do this? I want to keep asking that question. And I don't want you to be satisfied with my responses. I want you to find your own. Why do this? Because it opens up possibilities. Possibilities to live life well in alignment with our understanding and our aspirations. Right here. Right here. Right in this moment. So there's this beautiful movement in the teachings between the sublime and the pragmatic. Between deep insights and their application. And there's so much grace and beauty in that movement. So much grace and beauty in that movement. And I hope, well actually trust, that you are feeling the relevance of this in your own practice and to your own life. That you're feeling the relevance of this is something to continue to reflect on. As we continue exploring this path, this path of awakening and of freedom. And I hope and I trust that you can feel the onward leading trajectory of this journey. This onward leading. It invites us to keep walking further and further into understanding and into a life well lived. So the Buddha in so many ways kept describing for us, kept illuminating this dependent origination, this dependent arising. This fabricated nature of experience. Offering it to us as a way of untangling. As a way to go beyond the known limitations of our life. And again, looking at everyone here in the hall. Each of you has gone beyond those known limitations over the days here. Wow. So I want to quote again, quote that Nathan used. I can't remember if it was this morning, last night or both. But it doesn't really matter. Here it is. What happens when we reflect and we remember when we consider this? I am not anything belonging to anyone anywhere. Nor is there anything belonging to me in anyone anywhere. I am not anything belonging to anyone anywhere. Nor is there anything belonging to me in anyone anywhere. What happens to the felt sense when you hear that? Sometimes our body responds to something that our mind can't grasp. So what does this mean for us? We've referred several times to your choice over these days. This understanding of the dependent arising of experience, the dependent arising nature of experience and of perception, supports us to choose how we move along the spectrum of fabrication. When I listen to those words that I just said, I feel the expanse, the possibilities. When we understand this is a perception, when we understand the dependent arising nature of experience, it supports us to choose how we move along the spectrum of fabrication, more or less in this direction or in that. Nathan gave this example this morning, how we unintentionally and without conscious choice, we're appropriate a place in the hall and a set of cushions that we didn't see before the day we arrived here, most probably. So we can see how that is useful. We don't need to come in every time and choose our spot or have cushion battles going on. In this retreat we didn't have anything around the windows, did we? It's unusual. Anyway. So we can see where this is useful and we can also hold it lightly. So we have a choice, the way we kind of have a sense, okay, this is my place or this is the body that I'm responsible to care for. We have that choice. And we can also see where it isn't useful. We can also see when and where to let it go of it, of that process of appropriation and identification. We can notice when we get hooked and entangled in ways that lead to dukkha for ourselves or for others. And we can use our insight and our understanding to unhook, to disentangle, to release, to let go, to open. So an example that kind of takes us back into this point on the retreat is a question that may be arising for some of you. How do I keep insights alive as conditions change? And sometimes it can come with a sense of some form of pressure. How do I keep it alive? How do I do that? I need to do that. I need to hold on. I need to hold on to my insights. I need to hold on to my understandings. I need to hold on to these mind states, whatever it is. Can we hold that aspiration to keep those insights alive, to live in accordance with them? Can we hold that aspiration with curiosity and interest? Not too tight. Not too tight so that we squeeze the life out of them. And not too loose. So that they don't just blow off with the winds of conditions. So curiosity and interest as we navigate changing conditions. A sense of how we play with fabrication. Taking time, as we've done today, to reflect and do more of that. Today, tomorrow to reflect what has been of value. What has touched me. What is it that I wish to remember? Reflecting on that. So that we can then attend to it and care for it. As conditions change. And what would support you to remember? What would support you to remember going forwards? So some kind of qualities we can lean into and bring to bear. Things like dedication, devotion, kindness. Remember kindness? It's appeared in this hall a few times. Kindness. Meeting experience with kindness. With interest, with curiosity. Forgiveness. Really big one. Forgiveness. There will be ups and downs. That's life. That's conditioned experience. As we continue on the path. They are part of our deepening. They're not moments of failure. They're part of our deepening. And we want to see them in that way and to learn from them. The experiences you have had on retreat, the insights, the teachings that have touched you. All of that can continue to nourish you. It will continue to nourish you if you listen. If you listen to it. And so many of you have said, to me, to yourself, I know this is possible. Whatever this is, I know now that this is possible. I can meet things in this way. I can know things in this way. And let that knowing be a light that guides you. Not something you need to hold on to. But something that can guide you. It's out here. And it's in here, in you. And let that guide you. So understanding, again and again, that dependent arising nature of experience, supports us to choose how we move along that spectrum of fabrication. And it supports us to choose what we pay attention to and how. And this is also so helpful to remember as conditions change, as complexity increases. That choice that we have, that onward cultivation of that choice, of that agency, what we pay attention to and how, what we give our resources to, resources of attention, of time, of consumption, of what we pay attention to and of course how we pay attention. How we pay attention. And that understanding of dependent arising supports us to bring clarity to our aspirations, to remember them and to live in alignment with them. And a little bit of an experience of that over the last couple of days. I think it was probably clear to most of us that this body was a little bit unwell. I didn't just go off on holiday for a little while. Kind of holiday, I suppose. And I really had that sense, you know, like the body's not well. And here are the conditions. Energy's not what it's kind of supposed to be or what I would like it to be. And here are these beings that I really care for and I want to support. And how do I bring those two together? And so having that clear sense, okay, here is what matters. What matters is that I can show up to the one-to-ones and to the groups and hopefully put together a half-coherent talk for this evening. That's what matters. And what is the condition that would support that? Rest. What's the condition that would support that? Rest. And I had to remind myself of that. Like lying in bed, not asleep. Rest. Rest. Rest. Because that supports your aspiration, that supports what matters to you. Reminding myself. I was just going to... I'll just... Rest. Because that's what matters. So we can kind of bring that in to the smallest things, remembering our aspirations. Having clarity around them, again and again in our lives. And doing our best to live in alignment with them, to support the conditions that will support them to flourish. So I want to bring in another quote of the Buddha's from a different teaching in which we are encouraged to reflect and recollect daily on five things. And some of you know this teaching on the five daily recollections. And I only want to talk about the fifth. And this is a beautiful translation from Tick Nhat Hanh of the fifth recollection. So remembering daily and maybe even more than that. That my actions are my only true belongings. My actions are the ground on which I stand. My actions are my only true belongings. My actions are the ground on which I stand. And we can put this into the context of those assumptions of the Buddha. That actions have outcomes. And that some are favourable and some are unfavourable. Remember that? And it reminds us that this path is a path of action. It's a path of action including intention, attention and what we give our resources to. The resources of our attention. The resources of our intentions. The resources of our actions and our choices. It's a path of ethical training and ethical alignment. So let's put those two together. Let's put those two together and hear what happens when we do that. I am not anything belonging to anyone anywhere. Nor is there anything belonging to me in anyone anywhere. My actions are my only true belongings. My actions are the ground on which I stand. So there is a ground on which we stand. And that ground is our actions. This ties in to the title of the second retreat, Fulfilling Stillness. You've noticed already I like the titles. The fulfilment that the practice, the cultivation and the stillness open up for us. And also the stilling of the fires. The stilling of the fires, the agitation and the harm of greed, of hatred and of delusion. In our own hearts and minds and in the world. Stilling hostility, stilling ill will as fulfilling stillness. I think there can be a heart more still than a heart in which ill will and hostility have been stilled. And this is possible. This is possible for us, for each of us. It is possible. They remind us of that. That's why they're here. They remind us this is possible for each of us and through us for the world that we share. Because this whole world is dependently arising. This whole world is conditioned and each of us is a conditioning condition. We are each of fabrication, fabricating. Each of us. Our actions, our choices and how we apply our insights and these teachings are conditions to the shaping of this moment of experience and the shaping of the world. And that is beautiful. And that is a breath of freedom that we bring forth. Because there is no thing that does not depend. There is no thing that does not depend. There is no thing that is not conditioned in this world. And this is as true of society, of beings as it is of appearances and of dukkha. There is no thing that does not depend on other things. So this thing and these things, we are all dependent arisings. And we are also a cause and a condition for the arising of other dependent arisings. And can you feel the possibilities open up? Working with each of us with our own heart and mind, inclining it to the wholesome. That goes way beyond a particular self and a particular body, heart and mind. It shapes our appearance in the world, how we appear. And it shapes how we impact the world and the beings that we share this precious planet with. So our hearts and our minds, our speech, our action, our choices, our conditioning conditions. They play a part in the shaping of this world internally and externally. Not the only condition, yet something that we have agency with. And this matters. It matters. It matters at this particular point in time. Where we are living in a world and in societies that are filled with suffering, with injust