Renate Seifarth: Love as a Response to Suffering

If I look at you like that, I think I'm... It's really... a hundred-year-old-girl-girl-girl, right? You're in love with her, you have a love course to live. The situation can be fun or fun. Okay, then I'll just do it like this. In this world there's a lot of Dukka. Dukka is suffering. I'm just writing to make her in contact. But I'm not just going to wait for her to suffer. That would be really tragic. But to find an answer to her suffering. An answer... This Dukka needs an answer. We're confronted with it. He can't get inside. That's why we don't have that many people coming. The message is first, here's suffering. You can't just go all the way. But we can find an answer to it. An answer needs an answer that enables inner stability, allows reliability in the face of the whole thing. Flexibility, because the world is always different than we would like to have it. And then the possibility of growing up makes us feel happy moments. I hope that during a meditation day you'll be happy moments. I mean, the cooking is really hard. At least there are moments. Maybe there are other moments. The Buddha really says, my empty circle of Dukkas. And this aspect of life, which is very difficult, which somehow makes us struggle, which pushes us down. And the Buddha's answer has two parts. The first is with wisdom. When we generate wisdom, the Buddha simply finds the things that lead him to suffer less under this Dukka, to be more relaxed in the world. And that's what it's about, deep insights into realities. Once the insight into the inner circle of all things is. I'll talk about that again later. Everything changes, not something that the Buddha finds, not something that we do, but something that we don't do at all. It changes, however, again and again. And this is what all of change is about, when life is priceless. It has a consequence that is around Dukkas again. That nothing can give us a permanent peace of mind. No inner state, no external something, whatever it is. It's not that the sun is completely cramping us. It's just beautiful. He's enchanted, so please look at all of my things. It's beautiful. Wonderful. He won't stay. That doesn't mean I can't enjoy him at this moment. But in me, when I see him, he comes to me very quietly, to me, like, stay, stay, and he just does what he wants. He just doesn't stay. And yet I can't believe I'm always happy when he comes to me in a magical way. Then I can open him up. Why not? Only if I keep looking for my fulfillment, then I have a problem. It changes, again and again, again and again. And the Buddha says, just to find our happiness is just fatal. We will finally lose the happiness that always goes away. That's the pressure he was talking about. And then, as a third aspect, deepening his selflessness, I can't define anything. So I'll talk about it again, detail, this not-self, it's somehow so difficult to understand. But in the meantime, we understand and we also have to understand what we are going to do. Because I don't give, I give the essence in me that something has something. That's as far as it is. It can't have anything, because everything goes wrong, but there is no core that has something. What we are, we are just like that. We are just like a continuum. That in motion, in flesh, in exchange, it is connected with all the others in this world. It's my body that feels very solid, and feels very mine, my body, that would just dissolve if I would constantly add other materials, other bodies, I don't think of animals at the same time, but of flutes, of other beings and other bodies, external things, if they are on the plate, like a machine, a carrot, all these sparrows, everything is very, I don't know, sometimes, you know what you're thinking. But that's not me at first. But without that, my body couldn't continue to exist. That's a very, very sad story, how it becomes me. And that's what it's all about. In here, it feels so strong and concrete, that I am there, that I exist as something solid, that can be touched, but when I look for it, I don't find anything tangible, that can be touched, but a process. And when we discover these wisdoms, we feel that it's a little bit of a pressure. It's a consequence of that, it becomes a little bit less important, both the things we try to hold, like this I, become a little less important. And that can, in the worst case, I mean, be it for the use of the world, or in the most intense case, we can't do that right now. So if we want to drive it to the end, to the last consequence. And here, the second answer from Buddha comes into play. This wisdom has an opposite to the pole, in its teaching, in its understanding and also in the life of Dukkha. And this opposite to the pole everyone in this Brava plays the hair. Metta is one, Brahma and the hair are spiritual states, spiritual states that we can develop. And Metta, which we are now cultivating in this matrix, is one of them. Brahma, in the cosmology of Buddhism, is a god, a god that always goes well. He lives in this rich god. That's why Brahma, the hair, the hair is called the area. And if we develop these qualities, the loving gods, then we feel like Brahma. Very similar, so to speak. And here it is mainly about the first three. The first three balance this wisdom that can be expressed. Metta, this love, this respect, this appreciation, this deep peace that we develop there, brings connection between beings and ourselves. And that's why it's about specifically about beings. We don't have to make all the other beings all the other beings, but we really, we look at the beings, we contact ourselves as beings, as feeling beings, that want to be happy, that want to be safe, that want to be healthy, that want to live through life and want to fulfill life, that what it really needs to get. And we think that too. And the second part of the story is about feeling. Karuna. Karuna is about feeling again. It's actually this wish that my suffering ends. A reflection. And even if we know that Dukka exists in this world, that's Pondon. Because we could say that everything is Dukka. I don't know if I should say that. But on the other side, it's the answer to Dukka, the reality of Dukka, the only true answer, the wishful thinking. And it's also the very organic answer of the weather, that changes in the feeling when we see a being that is suffering in this moment. Then the wish comes that you can be free of it, that you can go better. And of course not only as a living being, but if we have the opportunity in situations where we can help, that would be great. It also feels like a business. The third frame of the story is Mudita. Mudita is also a beautiful Brahmajahara. Because here we see through the eyes and the feelings that it gives joy in life. It's really beautiful. You experience joy at the moment. Exactly. The sunset never came that was always beautiful. And if we imagine someone experiencing a more beautiful sunset, then we hope to experience such beautiful sunset. Sometimes we get photos sent. And then instead of enjoying the sunset, I would also like to wish that we can experience such sunset in your holiday wherever you are. Even if it's not that beautiful. I would also like to wish that this three Brahmajahara are making life very soft and beautiful and pleasant. And both the wisdom and the Brahmajahara, the first three, the fourth one is again made thick, the fourth one is made white, but the thick is made together. You also talk about two sides of one moon. And I would like to talk a little more about this Brahmajahara today. On the one hand, I also cultivate with the meta, a little shorter than the passana practice, where you can always expand it if you want to. And on the other hand, if you want to treat it shorter here, it doesn't mean that they are less important. Two sides of one moon and two sides are equally important. That is, first of all, this meta quality, meta love. I would like to read you different quotes today. So, I would like to ask you for your support. Since many years the sun has been shining and the heat is the earth. And she does it without caring about her bright happiness and she is looking for gratitude or who is sleeping in the cellar. She is still angry that I am not aware of the people that she is not interested. She is still angry that she is giving you her signals. There are beings with the sun that send their light and their love to the earth. And she is also not concerned to know if the business is profitable or not. She feels happy and fulfilled. Her whole joy is to share her wealth in the universe. You have understood that the greatest happiness is that the sun is just feeling and living. Light, shine, shine and warm. So, to share your love and your shine means to be happy. We humans somehow have a deep longing for love. You see that. In us we feel this deep, very soft longing and without love, without any love it would be very difficult to live. We somehow need to be happy, we somehow need to be used, we need a smile, we need friendliness, we need to be happy. We also miss the great love most of all from a certain person. We are much, much more to give for a little love. And here is an important distinction that we often change is this romantic love where we have someone and with it certain expectations of this person or of people. It looks like it's not good. I'll give you one more step back. But the meaning of love the meaning of time, we see it later but also our life would be a little more sad. So here from Christ, Paul is very powerful and drawn out. When I speak the languages of all people and even the languages of the own know but I had no love then I would only be a red-haired not more than a learned pauper. Even if I had divine intervention and all secrets would be God's and would have the faith of the mountains set down but I would have no love then that would have no value. And if I would distribute all my possession and take the dead flame on me but I would have no love then it would be everything else. I think that we are a very strong expression of love to give an important place in our life. But we are in our love and love and the ability and the whole topic has been badly hurt in our life. We are hurt we are hurt, we are hurt love in some life is very difficult to open our heart. It also has much to do with that we don't understand what is happening there. We love often with these expectations. True love is not dependent on whether it is repeated. It is agitated unhappily over all and everything in its effect finds inner fulfillment in this act of self-expression. Love is your own joy it comes from a unethical source and needs nothing more to grow. When it draws the water your renewal from a fountain that is unlimited and another quote and then words about it Most people are happy with love and they have the right that is one of the meaning love for our feeling of happiness. Only when they are waiting to be loved then they are never really happy that they also count unsecure things. In one or the other moment they are loved but for the following moment you don't know what will happen. So you shouldn't count the love of the other if you come then you are welcome but it is better not to put all hopes on you. That's why I tell you I want you to be happy then don't expect to be loved but love day and night so you are blessed. Maybe you love a great love one day but why not? That can happen but don't expect it. So solve this problem tell your own love and don't want to love is your thing you are happy with it but it is true that is I think I just said that that is so deep and wise and at the same time we know how difficult it is the Buddha once said two things are very difficult and one of them is to love first to love first we are ready to live if you love someone else or you are ready to be friendly back but first to do good with friendliness we can do that but really to love often it gets difficult because we just want to do something we don't want to do it and so simply to love the feeling that is meta meta is not expecting and in that sense when we really let go of the expectations and we can do that on this level where we can recognize our elementary equality and see that everyone of us wants to be happy when we and everyone is on this general level we want to be happy and then we have all different recipes that one likes to travel and the other likes to go to the sea and then we sit together with someone and one wants to go to the sea so, let's do that now make a compromise this year, the next year or we say they will go to the sea alone we will do that and then I decide what I think because then I just don't want to do it that the other does what I want that would be to say here this to really connect that the other wants to be happy but also if I really want to go to the sea but the other wants to go to some hiking path that the other wants to go yes we have to find the other and then not to take you don't come with so you don't love me that's the typical thing then do what you want so you love me but it can be completely different we love each other and find different answers we do what the other wants for example but we do it so independently we do our love independently and we do it to be loved by the feeling independently and in the meditation we learn to love independently to love independently to live independently if we are together with someone and we can never go to the vacation together we can never go to the same restaurant we can never go to the same same cinema together we can't live together because we always want everything else then you can always ask yourself what are the priorities and probably go apart that's okay and yet you can love yourself you can only feel together in life because we have so many other personal wishes that we can't live together that doesn't mean that I have to give up to love each other that's already in the past two times are there that's why we often break up that romantic love is called to break up and the love for the weather is something completely wrong and the other is to be together we have a relationship we have common interests common views common wishes that we want to fulfill together we want to live together but to live together doesn't mean that I live together with the person maybe you're not love and this love comes from the open heart and because it's not dependent on the conditions that my wishes fulfill it also has access to this infinite source in ourselves like the sun that's also an example the sun that just shines infinitely the weather as I said I wander in a weather of feelings that's one and from this attitude or this open quality of heart there is a deep desire to live an ethically heart I want to present you the metasuta the metasuta a teaching that is about metagame as it was clear that the peace of the heart is the goal of your life and again the peace of the heart that's a symbol of enlightenment for the end of the path peace the sweet luck the over-thinking of the following family may I be strong upright and determined friendly, gentle and without pride may I be content satisfied not too much and helpless may the sense calm and the understanding become clear may my behavior be unassuming and for small reasons I want to try to understand how to handle may all beings be happy what is also a living being whether strong or weak whether big or small whether visible or invisible distant or near, born or a birth condition may they all be happy not a living being will I use or how to say from honor or search for I wish no suffering and misfortune like a mother or a father who protects and admonishes her only child so I open my heart for all beings and spread the whole world in unlimited loving-fearful longing up, down and all sides from the tightness of the heart call and friendship free whether standing sitting or lying I find this longing this is my heavenly peace may I be free from prejudices gain and gain insight the senses that are completely connected and are free from the rebirth the rebirth is I will now close my eyes but just here again a few places I have to be very careful that I am not narrow that is for small reasons that I feel that I can have understanding there is a step in me not like the Christian church where you have to be soft but here it is about really to take into account my behavior, my language to give a big place that it is important how I behave in this world how I behave in this world and not like the motto there is no one there is no one here and there so I can't even to behave in this way but ethical ethical speech, ethical thinking is through of a very big meaning and has very similar approach with the goal of inner peace of the heart I have a strong sense of inner clarity that I want to be friendly but without pride without to build on it to be satisfied is not to follow the path not to share more and more with others not to much business is very business not to much business but we have space to love also we need time without need means not always always a few needs to have I think a word it goes around here I want, I need we have all as human beings deep needs but that's not necessarily the wish that we have at any moment we have a need to be seen we have a need to be respected we have a need to get enough sleep enough food enough protection to be very deep we have needs after contact we are social beings very deep in our heart we have needs after contact but without need means we don't need to have a thousand wishes and the thousand wishes make us not happy we are lucky we are just in a different place when the scene comes to rest that's something we practice the understanding is clear that's very central and then at some point I don't get up I don't always get up I get up the others get over the question over the role it's also called giving space and we are learning it right now we are there next to our place and at the same time we don't get up I just want to talk so I just blink where am I going I don't know if the other wants to hear for example all kinds to be excited and then this basic adjective wants to be good without exception as much as possible strong or weak big or small visible or invisible very close we don't know where they come from what they have and what always has a different meaning that we all have to live a right to be happy no I want to use every word and pay attention and I want to see pay attention from the anger or hatred that happens easily from the anger or hatred I wish others suffer no, I'm not going to give you a anger or hatred that is more noticeable then I'll leave to wish you suffering and misfortune I have a few in the moment that I have to hold back so that I make responsible for suffering in this world but here too this nonsense goes like a mother but this is a picture that we always find protected by a single child that is very wrong picture not everyone is protected by a child that we know that every father is protected by a child outside the forum but where it really goes is this deep love that between parents and children see or experience from their own ideas that children can have that maybe they understand better than themselves but it is this what I have been told that it can be a unique love there are other developments in ourselves but that is a step not just our hand but that is such a strong picture of a strong connection a strong love but that is how I want to meet all beings all beings to open my heart and to spread the whole world and that is just a proof of how deep this attitude is how deep it is and that is just this freedom of prejudices I also feel that it is a very important thing because we often have prejudices over others and they are placed between them that we can open our hearts so here is a whole empty talk about the meaning that this quality has and actually when